happy new years eve! :)

even though i know i shouldn't get my hopes up, they are already sky high.
i like you so much. i'm an idiot. 

hey, i like you.

today has been beyond amazing!
serving went good today, i know i am going to do well.
i just realized that i have so much to be thankful for. 
i dont want to jinks myself but everything is working out in my favor this time & i'm happy, if everyday could be like today i would want it to be.






"it seems like there is someone who always disapproves, so don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine, & i'll fight their doubt and give you faith. <3" 

5 months to graduation!

I had such a wonderful Christmas!
spending it with family & friends couldn't have been more awesome! :)
I start waitressing at brixx monday, i'm so excited about that.
life is great right now.<3

hahahaha.

On my end of the rope, i'm done. i'm growing up.

Today has been good, I think my car is almost ready <3

& I realized earlier today that Christmas is only 3 days away.

Well, i'm going to watch Charlie St. Cloud! 

<3

Today has been a really great day!
I got moved up to a server today at Brixx so I'll be waiting tables :) request me if you eat there!
I cant wait to get my car back! hopefully it'll be soon! 
life is great <3

people are always going to be mean and put someone else down to make themselves feel better. its time to grow up.

today was awesomeeee!

I'm doing what I should have done 5 years ago, leaving you in the past. 


- everything is good right now & I'm happier than I have been in a long time.

All you are is mean, and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life.

I'm so happy with everything right now :) 

I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You can’t lead me down that road.

This week has been greatttt.
I'm so glad that I am finally done with English! I presented my project today & I think i actually did really good. Now I just have to present my Teacher Cadet portfolio and I'm done with two classes! 
This past week has made me feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Everything is good, I can't complain.


Well, I'm pretty sure I'll have something interesting later, but for now, I'm just sleepy & I'm headed to bed.

oh, wait, I'm ready for my car to be out of the shop. omgg.

I got my retainer today, it hurts so bad!
only 4 more days of school left until the break! thank goodness, i need that break.
oh, i applied for a credit card today, say what?!?!?!
:)


i love this song by the black eyed peas! iiiiiiiii had the time of my life and i never felt this way before and i swear this is true that i owe it all to you.








i'm in a great mood, i love this. <3

" everyone wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you cant have a rainbow without a little bit of rain"

my birthday is tomorrow.




i'm going to put something inspiring...

that was funny.

So tonight my friend kyle took me out to dinner for my birthday, it was fun :) 
he's really goofy so it was nice being able to just laugh about stupid stuff. It was really nice of him, thank you :)
I'm getting so fed up with school. I have that anxious feeling where i want to get out soooo bad. I'm going to go back to guidance to figure out if i can get out early or something. come on may 28!
I went & got a massage today. It was the bet thing in the whole world. I wish i could get one of those everyday because then i'd always feel great haha. & when i walked into the spa i saw Mara! I was so happy to see her, i missed her so much! 
I'm trying to keep my mind off things, so i'm just going to bed.

"If tears could build a stairway and thoughts a memory lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again"

here's a toast to the douche bags.

That really hurt my feelings...

but thats okay, your only making me stronger.

"Theres a hero, if you look inside your heart, you don't have to be afraid of what you are. There's an answer if you reach into your soul and the sorrow that you know will melt away.   Its a long road when you face the world alone no one reaches out a hand for you to hold. You can find love if you search within yourself and the emptiness you felt will disappear. oh, lord knows dreams are hard to follow. but don't let anyone tear them away. Hold on, there will be tomorrow, in time you find the way. 

Then a hero comes alone with the strength to carry on and you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive. 

So when you feel like hope is gone look inside you and be strong and you finally see the truth that a hero lies in you."

i have high hopes.

My birthday is almost here! (:
Christmas is almost here too, i'm excited to buy my family presents this year, i want to get them something good.
I don't really have anything to say.
once again though, i want this to work out...

"If you love something set it free, if it comes back it was mean to be, but if it flies let it soar, just know God has something better in store"

tired.

this once i'd like for this to work out.


"All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot."

only 5 more months to graduation.

I'm so sick of school and everyone in it. I am way to much of a push over & that is not what I want to be. I'm tired of worrying if someone is going to get mad at me or if I'm not going to ever have any friends. i need to get out.
I don't want to look back on my life & regret anything. I think i'm just going to start not caring & let whatever happens happen. What's going on in high school right now will not matter even 2 years from now, so why worry about it right now? true friends will stay with you no matter what and all the pieces that need to fall together will. So that's what I'm going to work on... myself. I'm going to focus on me and what is right for me. 
I find out if I am accepted to Francis Marion tomorrow & I talked on the phone to my admissions counselor from Columbia College today for like 20 minutes, not about school, she was just seeing how everything was & that made me feel good. She actually cares about what's going on in my life and she doesn't look at me as just another application. 
<3

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when their right. You believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, & sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together" 

its taken me this long, baby, but i figured you out.

well, Thanksgiving is over & school starts back tomorrow :(
I'm not looking forward to that at all.
I don't know what has been wrong with me lately, sometimes i just get mad or annoyed & i wanna be left alone. I don't know why, nobody is upsetting me. i don't whats wrong, oh well.
so this weekend i realized that i'm over it. That waiting for you and even being friends with you isn't worth it anymore. i could be missing out on something good because of you. i'm not gonna think about you anymore.
haha i hope that wasn't dramatic, but there are just some things that are good to realize earlier than later.
i got my SAT scores back, i didn't do too bad. i think i have figured out what schools i would like to apply for: Winthrop, Columbia, Francis Marion, and Newberry. I wish i was brave enough to go to like university of southern california or something but i'd never make it that far away haha.
I can't believe i missed like an entire week of this but i'm sure i'll be back to normal since school starts tomorrow, i'm going to go and actually do something productive.


oh, i'm not much of emotional person at all, and i don't cry a lot, but today i saw this old couple with their dog walking down the road with a wagon full of bags, and my heart sank for them. i want to save the world.




"keep your head up, your gonna make it, i promise, just keep ya head up."

I am thankful.

Today was good, I'm starting to feel a lot better.
I'm so glad that we have break from school!
i've been thinking a lot about my future lately. i have a lot of decisions to make. 
COME ON MAY 28!






"It isn't what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart."

I don't feel to good & I'm in a Dr. Seuss mood.

"All Alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot. And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on. But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are."

another good dayyyy

So I just got home from Brixx, I'm pretty tired, but I'm going to finish my homework tonight.
I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. I don't really have anything to blog about tonight. Today was just ordinary.
Hopefully tomorrow will be more exciting. <3


I use to love this movie <3 

"Darlin, forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things" - Fox and the Hound.

yahhhh.

So tonight I work at IGA so I know I will be to tired to blog when I get home because I get off at 10.

Today has been pretty good, I guess it's what you make out of your day is what counts, even if you are having a bad day.

Only 5 more weeks until this semester is over, THANK GOODNESS.

Next semester is going to be so easy & probably a lot more stress free.

life is good <3

Here's something for you to think about, you don't have to like people, and for the people you don't like you should just ignore that they exist. life is to short to be worrying about someone that wont matter a year from now. Mrs. Avery once gave me good advice and said "stop worrying about those who don't like you and focus on the people that do." I've learned a lot this year & i grew up a lot.... try it.  

QUOTE:

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."

iloveyou<3 -ash *garbb* 

Life is good.

Today was awesomeee.
Dad went & bought me some stuff for my car :)
I really have nothing to complain about, i mean, i would like for school to hurry up a little bit, but its whatever.

It feels so good to have clean, straight teeth <3


QUOTE:
"Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends"

best monday everrrr.

I get my braces off & get a new car! Today was the best day I have had in a while. Its got me motivated :)
I just need to get that gingivectomy to make my gums straight & then my mouth will be perfecttttt.
& for those of you who are wandering what it is: A gingivectomy is a periodontal surgical procedure which includes the removal of gingival tissue in order to achieve a more aesthetic appearance and/or functional contour. Gingivectomies are frequently performed using electrosurgery to cauterize away the undesired gum tissue.
Pretty much they are just going to even my gums up.

QUOTE:
"when you've hit rockbottom at least the only way you have to go is up"

I'm Me.

Today I realized that I just don't care anymore.
I don't want to look back 10 years from now & regret anything.
I want to be able to look back and be proud of myself as a teenager, and so far, I think I'm doing a great job. 
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I can't wait for tomorrow.
& I can't wait for college.






QUOTE:
"10 years from now, it won't matter what jeans you wore, how popular you were, what your hair looked like, or what sneakers you wore. What will matter is what you made of your education, and where it took you in life." 

6 months to graduation.

So today was pretty good. We woke up in the morning and went to look at a car. I LOVE IT. We're going to go back monday & hopefully get it, i'm praying that we do! It's a Nissan Sentra. It's perfect & i really need a car, so i hope it works out :)
I'm really tired & I think I'm going to go ahead and finish all my homework tonight so I don't have to worry about it on Sunday.
<3


"You don't have to feel like a waste of space. Your original, cannot be replaced."

title.

i'm sooooooo happy that it is the weekend! 
ash is over right now for our anual sleepovers on friday nights.
i have nothing interesting to say, so i think i'm just going to leave it at that.


quote of the dayyyyy!
"Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair. However you must keep smiling & moving on"

things are never bad as they seem.

I don't see how people look back & think "oh i wish i was in high school again". There is no way i would ever want to go back to being a teenager or relive my senior year in high school. I'm ready for college & i'm ready to get away from everyone. 
I've been doing my "student teacher" for teacher cadet for the past week. i love my third grade class! everyone is so great, i cant wait to become a real teacher :)


well, i'm done hear.
i kinda wanna start doing something fun, so i think i'm going to have a quote of the day:


"Your braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think"
                             -Winnie The Pooh.

if you cant hold on, let go.

you belong with me;

many people are going to read that post & automatically think of the one person i would never even want to look at again.
i'm talking about someone i officially met over the summer, even though i knew about him during school the past two years. I had my chance with him & then kinda blew it. big mistake. I was so caught up in what i thought i wanted i just kinda blew him off & he moved on. I realized that i would never go back to what i had & i should've taken the chance when i had it.
too bad the past two years of my life has big one big waste, i wish i could take that back too... but thanks, you helped me realize how much i never want someone like you again. 






but on a happier note.... :)


the past few days have been really good, last sunday i went muddin for the first time with caleb! i even went up a staircase called "hell" or something.
it was really scary but i really liked itt. hopefully i will get to do it again soon.






I'm ready for college & most importantly, GRADUATION!

you gotta take the rain before the rainbow.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DITCHING ME TONIGHT....
because i had a great time with the people i went with instead :)


today was an awful day, altogether, and after school i didn't think it would get better, but it did.
i cant wait for the weekend.


except i am taking the SAT & i'm kinda nervous.
butttttttt its okay.
I filled out a guidance gram today because school is just unbearable & i'm ready to get out as fast as i can.


oh, i cant believe that i forgot to say this, but i had the opportunity to change someone life tonight, or really save their life, i hope what i said worked & i hope he takes my advice because even if nobody else cares about him i care if he lives or dies. i need to talk to a guidance counselor though, because suicide is serious.
something i have always wanted to do was make a difference in someones life and i think i had that opportunity tonight. 




well, a lot has happened today & i am worn out.
teacher cadet field experience starts tomorrow, so i'm going to bed! 
peace.

i've got my pride & she's got youuuuuu!

today was a good day!


i went & seen saw 3D, those movie always freak me out.
i'm so excited for this semester to be over with!
actually, i'm ready for this whole year to be over with!


I really wish i could find my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Austin, because she's who inspired me to become a teacher & i want to tell her that. Maybe i'll make that my goal, to try & find her!


but i need to start on my homework!
peace!

things just keep getting better & better :)

so i quit at IGA, but thats okay, maybe i'll be less stressed working at Brixx.


so today my family decided to take a spur of the moment trip to the beach & i am soooooo tired. haha
i had a lot of fun, its always nice to get out of this stupid little town. <3 
well, i think thats all for tonight.
i would have a good picture, but i left the camera in the car and i'm to comfortable to go out & get it.

tonight was great.

i made time to write in here tonight.


me & ash worked tonight & had plans to go to scream acres. are plans didn't really work out, but we had so much fun at the little carnival instead :) we even got to friendship gold fish :)








i cant even begin to tell you how happy i am & how excited i am for wednesday <3

catch uppppp.

I know that i have missed quite a few days of this! so i need to catch up. I'm so glad last week is over. it makes it that much closer to graduation! yesterday at school was the halloween hoot, it wasn't what i was expecting, its just that our whole senior class is kinda boring. when i sat down to write this i thought i had a lot to say, but now i just don't have anything to say. 
i watched a movie last night, to save a life, it was good & inspiring.

a lot of good things have been happening lately & i hope they just get better <3

blahhhhh

Today went better than i thought it would. My fundraiser is going good, hopefully it keeps getting better. I love this weather. I was so excited when I came home and put on sweat pants & a t-shirt. Now i'm sleeeeeeepy & ready for bed.
But more importantly i'm excited for May 28, i dont see how people actually miss high school.
Today in the school newspaper i saw this website - operationbeautiful.com
i haven't looked yet, but it sounds really cool.


well peace!

hope you find it.

I slept until 12 today, which is really unusual for me. Today was just kinda a bum day & i know i was in a bum mood all day, even though i was trying to hide it. I don't know, i'm not looking forward to school tomorrow, i can tell its going to suck, but i'm just going to ignore the immature people & focus on what i need to focus on. & count to 10 a lot :) haha


Its time to be the change you wish to see in the world.




maybe i'll be in the mood for this tomorrow.

The Fair!

I went to the fair today with ash & neco, i had fun! i wish it wasn't so expensive though, i would've loved to have funnel cake! haha.

So i just remembered that my fundraiser is due next week & i haven't even made posters! danggg, i guess i'm going to be busy tomorrow.

and my lessons for teacher cadet are due monday.

my grade isn't good in anatomy & i want to graduate with higher than a 3.5 GPA

i'm really sore & i'm really dizzy right now.

& i was suppose to volunteer tomorrow and i wasn't at school to get the time :(

ahhhhhhh.

woah, i need to breathe.

It can happen to you...

So i'm sure everyone has heard by now & everyone is wandering what happened, so here it goes: 


Me & ash were going to have dinner & my house (tacos) so we ran up to the store for her to get a coke & i wanted a sprite. She asked if she could drive so i let her. On the way home i just kinda forgot to put my seatbelt on. we weren't even like a minute away from leaving IGA, we were going down sessions and ash just kinda went off the road a little bit and overcorrected it and she lost control & we started to spin, then we started to flip. My car rolled about 3 or 4 times. Since i didn't have on a seat belt i went from the passenger seat to the backseat. I'm so thankful that i didn't go out the back window because the window is gone. It was scary & i cant even described how it felt to be going through it. I'm just glad that me and ashleigh are okay.

Most people are suprised when i tell them i'm not mad at ash & that my parents aren't mad. What kind of friend would i be if i got mad at my best friend. It was an ACCIDENT, she didn't mean too. I remember her crying and she kept saying how sorry she was. I love ashleigh, she's my best friend, she's helping me get a new car :) haha.
I know she still feels bad, but she really shouldn't. this was just a big learning experience and something we can talk about when we're old ladies.
& i know your reading this ash, and i love you :) !

:)

I should be doing my homework instead of this, but I'm not. haha

Today at work, IGA, an old woman was trying to park in the handicap spot & instead of hitting the brake she hit the gas & ran right into the pole. She messed her whole car up! It was probably really embarrassing for her haha.

that is probably the most interesting thing i have to say today because school sucks! 

but speaking of school, i have been thinking a lot about what to major in college & i think instead of elementary education i'm going to certify in special education too. I cant wait to help with special olympics <3

peace.

today started good because...

HAYLEY ELLIOTT....


showed me the cutest boy today...




;)

all alone, whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot.

i know i wrote a blog already today, but that was for last night, not for today, so i'm writing another one. my mom left for the beach today until friday. i'm going to miss her so much! haha. it makes me wander what i'm going to do in college when i'm living by myself in my dorm and my mom isn't there with me. i love the relationship i have with my mom. she's the best. 


if there is one thing i could before i died i want to make an impact on someones life. in a positive way. i want to save someone when they feel like they have nothing left. this is a big goal of mine.


i want to save a life & make a difference.




& i really want my long hair back...

scarowindsss!

okay, so, i didn't write in this last night because me & ash went to scarowinds. it was so much funnnn! i was shaking when we first walked in there because i'm terrified of people with mask on. when we went into one haunted house though one of the guys like trapped us in the corner. that was pretty freaky. i had a lot of fun though, i wish i had a cute picture to show you, but ashleigh forgot the memory card to her camera... so i'm just gonna put a little ghost up. 

i just remember something that is really irritating me right now. IGA said that anyone who doesn't take their piercings out are going to be taken off the schedule. that is so STUPID. but i've already decided i'm not taking it out. not yet atleast.

first one ever.

So, this was way more complicated than i thought it would be. It took me like an hour to figure out how to even post anything. I am really excited about tomorrow! me & ash are going to scarowinds.

I'm so glad that i have ashleigh as a best friend. She's been there for me no matter what. the past year of high school has been really rough & it's good to know there is atleast one person there for you. so, i'm glad she's my bfffff (:

I thought having this whole blog would be stupid but i think i'm going to like it. I might just have to get use to it for a little bit. haha.

I love my life!